The most common phrase of showing affection is “I love you”. We say it to our partners, Family members and our friends. That’s how we express our feelings.
Attention! Followings are said by a narcissist itself. If you have gone through emotional abuse, Following can trigger unwanted emotions.
When a narcissist says “I love you” they are just acting in a way to make you believe that they are deeply, madly in love with you. But, the reality is different. They are just acting out in front of you, saying these three words does not mean anything to them other than that they are simple English words.
When they have made you fall for them, They start to abuse your kindness and trust. Without knowing anything about their ill thoughts you will keep loving them. The more you fall in love with them, The more they mistreat you. Your love, kindness, trust and everything else is just a game for them. You will do everything for them to feel better, but all they do is make you feel inferior and unwanted.
With time, you will make them your highest priority. They will become your whole world and you will come to a point where you think you can not live without them. They love all the attention you give them. They love how you make them the centre of your universe. Being Always there for them and doing everything to make them happy will feed them with what they need but, nothing will be reciprocated back to you. But, you’re too blinded by the love to realize.
Make you feel down becomes the little game they play to enjoy themselves. When you start to question your own self feeling guilty, they feel so happy like they passed a level of the game they are playing. You will come to a place where you can’t understand the difference between what’s going on and what is real. You will finally believe every hurtful thing they say about you to be true.
They know for sure that you will never leave them. So just to make the situation better they say “I love you”. And, you again become their little puppy that takes all their hits. You will become the ” plaything” that they like to spend their extra time with. You will bare every cruel emotion they feed you because ultimately, you’re addicted to them like a drug that your life depends on.
None of your expectations will come true. But, you will always be on working to make theirs a reality. When you try to live up to your own expectations they would always disappoint you. Your confidence with yourself will gradually decrease taking all your dreams down with them. Whereas they are happy to have a faithful worker to give them the life they need. To keep them always happy and contended.
When you’re continuously suffering, it feeds their hunger. They do not love anything other than themselves alone. But, they would always say “I love you” to you but, what they actually mean is “I do not love you but, you have to keep loving me” in their own way.
They make you believe that it’s your job to keep them happy all the time. They play innocent when you try to point out their mistakes and make you feel guilty like you said something wrong and hurtful. So in the end, their mistakes remain the same and you believe all you do is wrong and hurtful and now they are unhappy. So because you think that it is your responsibility to keep them happy, you will beat yourself to do everything just to do that including changing yourself to supplement their toxic behaviour.
They have brainwashed you to believe that maintaining the happiness of the affair is your duty. Whatever happens, you have to keep them happy. So when they do something to hurt you and you confront them about it and their behaviour they make you feel awful saying that you’re destroying the happiness of the relationship. You will be left thinking that there is no way out of this affair. Also, now you’re guilty of hurting them and are trying to fix it even though, in reality, what happened is the complete opposite.
They fancy making you their private little slave or “human pet” when throughout the whole day all you do is help them with their things and making them feel on top of the world. But, although they know full well about your needs and wants they enjoy not letting you have it. They love to see you struggle alone trying to withstand both of your things.
The only reason why they act like they love you and support you, is to make them feel good and nothing else. When they let you eat the bait of “love” you will stick around making them happy and fulfilling their needs. Because they know it, they will act in the drama “deeply in love”.
“I love you” according to their language means that they love how you rely on them, fulfilling all their needs.
Even though all they do is make you feel small and insignificant, they love the fact that you believe you’re with the right person, the “perfect one” or the “soulmate”.
They will hurt you without even you realizing what they are doing is hurtful. They will let you know that they will never change themselves and you’re the wrong one so you’re the one who should change. You swallow all the baits they throw at you and keep changing yourself over and over and over again.
If you’re already witnessing these from a narcissist person do not hesitate in leaving. Leave once and never look back. Your worth is so much more than that. Before that person moulds you into someone that doubt every single thing and person, leave now.